One of the many benefits of working at Indentchard Servant Cooperative No. 781 here is the fun of arguing on our Slack Channel about issues that have no solution. Well, that’s right you can now become known as a Blueberry Heroine Smoothie.
However, Shawn Fitz-Gerald’s 1,453-word Magnum Opus in The Athletic was one of the extended typing debates over Edmonton’s list of Great Sports Towns on how one defines a great sports city and, after considerable theoreticism, A theory is that those who draw are blindfolded with shit. There are no useful definitions that fit all sensibilities, and we examine them, starting with Comrade Anantaraman’s helpful opener, “I think the less you can do outside, the better your sports city.”
In short, by this rubric, the best sports city is Caution, Nunavut, because as the most populous place in North America, it has everything inside because there is death outside with fur, hunger, claws and sharp, fine teeth. Thus, the Time-Westers Executive Committee (which is basically everyone here) met to sort it out in the executive session, with the following cities out as potential winners and losers. You have to decide for yourself which argument belongs to which staff, and to what extent they were actually created.
Green bay: “A great football city but not a great sports city.”
New York: “New Yorkers assume they live in a great sports city because they assume they’re the best city for everything; however, as a city there’s a lot to do, so it can’t be a great sports city.”
Also New York: “If New York is not a great sports city, why were tickets to the Rangers game 6 $ 300?”
Angels: “The Lakers have far more spiral-eyed Lifer fans whose full identity has been built around their Lakers’ phantom than the entire Ottawa population.”
Indianapolis: “You go to an Applebie in Indianapolis on a random NFL Sunday and will probably be wearing a one-third sponsored Colts jersey.”
The buffalo: “Buffalo is a great sports city. There was a live report from the Sabers Morning Skate in the afternoon news.”
Hartford: “Hartford is a terrible city. I tried to enjoy it and couldn’t.”
Kingston, New York: “I missed this whole conversation but the best sports city is Kingston.”
Somewhere in Virginia: “Virginia Commanders Football Stadium is the best sports city, no matter how dumb.”
Halifax, NS: “Halifax is the only city in North America that supports a non-existent group.”
Boston: “Boston sounds like a case study of ‘Great Sports Town’, it’s best for a backhand compliment. Like Boston is a great sports city, and I think I would rather chew and swallow a dirty sock than watch the Boston sports team with that team’s fans.” I’ll drop it. “
And that’s where the real truth lies. There are no useful definitions that can be applied without exception, and there is no catch-all city that does this for everyone. It’s a trap that allows you to turn your wallet into a fair game for every bad Tuesday night scheduled game, and if you’re not in Iowa State-Kansas State you can listen to it while sitting at home, if your idea is fun. Tailgating, like everything else, is an acquired taste.
Most college cities don’t work on this definition because they are one-issue cities – mostly local football teams. You go mostly because of peer pressure and business connections. This eliminates most of the 16 SEC cities because the largest of them is Nashville, home of Vanderbilt, which also has the smallest stadium. There is more to do, more reasons not to bother with the church… wrong, football.
One-team cities don’t work because there’s peer pressure that comes with not commuting. If you can’t be a Packer fan, why on earth would you live in a green bay in God’s world? So can you live like Hester Prince?
Big cities don’t work because they get more teams than fans in the city (see Anaheim Ducks, New Jersey Devils, Washington Wizards, or San Jose Earthquakes see some team names that are easily lost in the urban expanse).
And looking at attendance statistics doesn’t work because A) attendance statistics are a well-told lie, B) COVID-19 has neutralized ticket buying decisions for a choice between Pirates-Marlins and quarantine and C) not going to a game means you only respect your lungs No, but you are objecting to your team’s inferior technology.
In fact, C) is a grossly underrated truth here. Not going to a game is actually often a sign of a good consumer who is either not hired properly by the team or chooses not to throw good money at a leaking toilet. An empty seat is not a sign of civic shame, it is often a sign of demonic genius and should be viewed as the presence of 3,469 people at The Oakland A on Tuesday night excluding 32,598 potential customers who refused to attend because they were both terrified raccoon for their nachos. Fighting and thinking an owner like John Fisher shouldn’t have their money.
In fact, the best sports fans can actually be those who object to their existing condition and withhold their patronage until the condition improves. This brings us to the Arizona Coyotes, moving to an on-campus rink with only 5,000 seats because the team has the highest number of people who refuse to participate in a game despite being a litter box with a jamboni. Or the commanders in Washington trying to flee to the suburbs of Virginia because people in the country’s capital have finally reached the critical level with Danny Snyder’s feet of salt flats. Or the Ottawa senators whose fans have successfully overtaken the late owner Eugene Melnick and now need to re-learn how to find the wrong place and why they would bother.
And we can certainly include supporters who took to the streets a year ago and stood up to form the European Super League. This means that London, Manchester and Liverpool are the most notable, having won their place in this list by calling bullsheets by their voices, legs and bolt-cutters. There is a special place in heaven for all of them.
By that more inclusive definition, almost anywhere could be the best sports city in North America, which makes this distinction absolutely incomprehensible — especially in Halifax (well, Dartmouth, technically), where Atlantic Schunners have been waiting 40 years to reach the Canadian Football League 10. The th city will be named. They were careful enough to become fans although the Schunners were first conceived in 1982 and they did not actually find a stadium, a front office or even a list.
So, your answer is no. The best fans are often not as daring as they are brave enough not to be a fan when the situation is unfavorable or even oppressive for the phantom. Sellouts and great ratings are good if the team gets them; Otherwise, an invisible middle finger is just as effective as a marketing tool in selling products. People at the ticket office will hear you say no, because it’s their job to listen.
But if you are stuck with old ideas like presence and money because you are a person who has to look at whatever the cost, you will probably like it. The Sporting News, Courtside seats in Game 1 of the NBA Finals go anywhere from $ 24,716 to $ 80,879. That’s one expensive donkey carrier. I guess that’s what makes San Francisco the best sports city in America — if your definition of the best sports city includes entrepreneurs whose elongated thumbs are enough for not only your eyes but also the person standing in the line behind you.
In short, if you really want to know if you live in the best sports city, you need to prioritize better. Also, you can easily tell the best sports city in America by the number of fans you don’t see. If you have an entire building, especially if you charge 80 big for the privilege, there may be a damn better explanation for this than telling your equally dissolved friends, Hey did you see half the head of my cellphone on the right shoulder of Jeff Van Gundy?
Thus, we will end by pausing with Comrade Magari, who put the whole discussion in the right place when he said, “This is a real July sports talk radio conversation.” Jesus, it’s cold here.