Eat it, Hemingway. This year’s baseball is the saddest thing Can Surrendered in Auckland, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, or Washington, or at home and on the street, the Yankees have the best record in baseball, which doesn’t leave much for anyone else. But no. The saddest thing about this year’s baseball is Joe Madden’s haircut.
The story was told by ESPN’s Walking Yarnspinner Tim Kurkzian about Madonna’s last attempt to get Los Angeles Angels out of their clubhouse-to-outfield-wall torpo, and it was a story worthy of Lifetime Television’s Clinics Box of Depression Theater.
I mean, imagine being 68 years old and out of the usual way to snap a bunch of excellent hitters from a team-wide two-week slump. Imagine going to your local barber and saying, “Remember Travis Bikal? That’s what I want. “Then imagine General Manager Perry Minasian calling upstairs and telling him that you’ve polished the side walls for no reason. .
Honestly, Minasian could at least let her grow her hair before canning, just for the service rendered. Not that the haircut was the thing, to be honest; Angels has lost four of the six since Phil Nevin took over as manager of his more conventional haircut, suggesting the problem may not have been manageable. They’ve lost 20 of their last 25, so it’s no surprise that the change that Phyllis is getting under Rob Thomson isn’t happening automatically for the Angels under Nevin. Maybe angels just, and stop us if you’ve been hearing this annual since 2015, it stinks.
But every morning when they brush their teeth, at least their shame doesn’t look back at them. Joe Madden gave his skull to a team that didn’t value it, and now he can wear his failure like a mug shot, either looking like an old age punk, brutal anaheim wearing a balaclava all summer long, or staying inside until no one is there. Supercut could work its 15-buck magic.
At least there is this, though. Joe Madden almost made Tim Kurkjian cry in the air. There is no greater tribute than what baseball can or should offer.