Nothing kills a vibe like the victim of the narrative, and the most derivatively foolish narrative before the NBA Finals starting tonight is being trotted by the idea that Stephen Curry needs a final MVP to verify his legacy.
It’s the kind of thinking that makes an important part of our Sporting Dictionary “fuck off right off”, because Curry doesn’t need anything. Neither the Golden State Warriors nor the Boston Celtics really need anything. This series is complete and extensively what the players want and what they want is, sequentially, A) a parade B) a ring the size of a child’s head and C) the rest of the world as close as possible
When things turned out in 2017 and when the Warriors boxed and fielded the Cleveland LeBrons, whether Kevin Durant was more double-team than Curry, we knew we were in for a rough ride in the series. When you re-sue this old and meaningless thing, it doesn’t matter that Durant has taken the bait. Durant always takes the bait. It’s like pointing out to a dog that you can refuse too much time for the behavior you hold in your hand. At this stage of the season, when we are dealing with the current Celtic and modern warriors, 2017 means nothing.
But this is what we get when there are many days between games and television producers who turn off the real thinking when LeBron James goes to Miami to have commercially effective time for food. Arguing for a trophy named after Larry O’Brien is a sign of a liar or a fool, unless it’s a sign of a desperate career.
Fortunately, both Boston and Golden State are free of such worldly agendas. Steve Kerr has long believed that when you win, the credit will find you, not otherwise, and if Ime Udoka doesn’t feel the same way, it’s just because he started the process and his first few years (okay, months) away. The underachieving and agenda-puzzle team and their Tylenol omelette.
We won’t make the series for you because, as we all know, the spelling “analysis” starts with four letters which proves why analysis is boring. It’s a series that has something to enjoy, and we doubt the series will be as enjoyable as the final MVP candidates Al Harford and Kevin Looney.
Also, inheritance occurs when a player decides not to play anymore. Otherwise, it’s just another page in a comic book. In other words, if Curry won the MVP and then retired to hunt and kill small endangered species on an animal planet special, his legacy would probably change from “Great shooter, great leader, art changer” to “Jesus Christ, when did” Will be Has he become so dirty?
Curry is still carrying on his legacy. So did Jason Tatum and the Warriors and Celtics. Their legacy is as simple, elegant, as spelled by this series And then in 2022, they did itOr, They didn’t do this thing. No one is being fired without game-fixing, and no one is being let off the league unless he decides to go to Cabo until the situation is over. It’s a common thing to win a ride on a downtown float, nothing more and less than that. If you need extra benefits from basketball, then maybe life is not for you.
There are only games, and there will be seven of them in a fair universe. The NBA has assured us that the best two teams in this league and they will both play their best and you will be entertained very well, you have ruined the little bastards. Now buy a hoodie and keep your yap off.
But Galactic Pixie, for whose guidance we desperately need, the most valuable player in your NBA Finals will be Auto Porter, Jr., unless it’s Al Harford. Entertainment doesn’t mean anything, as Legacy Wranglers shake their heads in anger as Curry’s legacy goes from “one of the game’s all-time greats” to “one of the game’s all-time greats.”
Besides, who doesn’t want Al Harford to be happy? He’s tolerant enough, and he’s done more than his time. And as far as Porter is concerned, Auto is named after his father Auto, and a Palindromic first name is really all the legacy that anyone should ever wish for.