This 1989 Arnold Palmer video game was shockingly horny

This week, EA Sports announced that the next installment of its FIFA video game series, which began in 1993 at Sega Genesis, will be over. EA will continue to make a soccer game every year, but it will have a new name: EA Sports FC. The EA says it still has 300 licensing partners for that soccer game, but is refusing to pay FIFA for the naming rights. Soccer’s governing body demanded a report of 150 million.

Apart from the lack of World Cup mode, players shouldn’t really see too much difference; The EA says the game will still have major leagues, stadiums and about 19,000 players. A good sports simulation game usually requires a license to be truly successful, although it is not clear that FIFA requires its abbreviated form. Playing soccer on your computer is fun, and if you can pretend to be Kevin de Bruyne, it’s even more fun.

The developers know this now, but the games must have avoided it. Original FIFA International Soccer Featured FIFA License only; The players were fake. Over time a lot of game players choose a big name license instead of the whole league. Sometimes it worked: A 1991 San Francisco Examiner The story goes back to 1991 Joe Montana Football, Which featured a true player (Joe Montana), was Sega’s best-selling game in the United States that year. (Perhaps it omits the original Sonic the Hedgehog Cartridge with Knot for resale label; Which was bundled with the Genesis console.)

That Examiner The story lists a list of video games with player licenses that were published at the time: Mario Lemieux hockey, Tommy Lassorda Baseball, Roger Clemens MVP Baseball, John Madden Football, Buster Douglas Boxing, Bow Jackson baseball, Jordan vs. Birds: One after the other, Jack Nicholas Golf, Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf. Even Apple’s original Madden game did not have an NFL or NFLPA license. Sega, in particular, prefers celebrity licenses; It was part of the then SEGA of US President Michael Katz to compete with Nintendo.

Some supporters had their fingerprints in the games. John Madden refused to support a football game that was not 11-on-11. Recorded voice samples for Jerry Glanville Jerry Glanville’s pigskin football. Others did not. The three primary sega genesis titles-Tommy Lassorda Baseball, Pat Relay BasketballAnd Arnold Palmer Tournament GolfThe feature is basically nothing but a title screen image of the licensee.

All three were localizations of the Japanese game. Super Real Basketball and Super League were the Japanese names for the popular games Rileys and Lassorder; The games were re-skinned with a new title for the US market. But, according to Sega Retro, the Japanese version of Arnold Palmer’s golf game (Naomichi Ozaki Super Masters) is similarly bizarre:

Despite its western name, the late Arnold Palmer did not appear in the game, except for a cameo on the title screen. Although Western Box Art suggests that the player is competing in the “Arnold Palmer Tournament” there is no mention of this in-game or in the manual. The Japanese version dedicates a portion of its manual to Ozaki Naomichi but similarly, the golfer is largely absent from the game.

So Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf was not really a feature of any Arnold Palmer. But it was an incredibly strange Katsin feature. Here’s how I discovered it: I stream video games, usually retros, to the weekly Defector’s Twitch channel. (Tune in! Tuesday at 5 p.m.!) I’m not a very good one, but I always try to have a good time. It’s hard sometimes when the game presents me with such a horrible scene.

In 2005, the Windows version Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Is released. Two days later, moder Patrick Wildenberg released a patch that allows players to access a mini-game player called “Hot Coffee” where your character can have sex with his girlfriend. It was crude and stupid and, I guess, a little funny. Still funny: Politician Crazy out On top of that, the U.S. House of Representatives voted in favor of the FTC investigating the developer and publisher; Los Angeles City has sued. What I mean here is that 16 years ago, Sega released a game with a cut-scene that was even more annoying. Where were our politicians then?

Look, I know there are more things in the video above that anyone can focus on. I’m +26 for the round, for one thing. I don’t like my hair either, for others. But please pay attention to what is here: in the middle of a round of golf, there is a “coffee break” where a character makes a small chip shot and a sexy golf babe kisses him. Golf, like sports, does not include such coffee breaks. Very few golf events, even with John Daly, include playboy rabbit-type characters. Here’s what’s happening.

Reviewer Truck_1_0_1_ says in Gamefaqs that the character hit here is Alex Kid, a character who was a Seger mascot before Sonic and played an original Genesis title, Alex Kid in Enchanted Castle. I scammed by playing Let’s-Play on YouTube. There is a Something Horny scene.

Not all of these are super horny. But there are some. In one such scene, Opa-Opa, the protagonist of the Seger Fantasy Zone series games, chases after a spaceship, even kissing Alex and his smooch-body. I will admit that there is no real point in this post other than wanting to share my experience. I had a fantasy scenario that Arnold Palmer imagined Insisted His golf game includes a kissing scene between a giant-eared little boy and a playboy rabbit, and now you have to do it too. Welcome!

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