We’ve already established that Tommy Fam-Jock Pederson Fantasy Football Beef is the Sports Story of the Year, and probably the best thing about baseball in decades. Now the question is how long can we ignite this stupid little scandal, perhaps forever? Involving Mike Trout would be a good starting point. And there’s some good news up front!
Yes, the best baseball player in the universe now has a sensitive role to play in this wonderful stupid mess. The news came from Pham himself, who returned from a three-game suspension as punishment for slapping Pederson and helpfully offered some more details in the story. Chief among these new things: Trout was the commissioner of the Fantasy Football League where Pham’s disgust towards Pederson was faked and some blame for the deterioration of the Pham League was placed on Trout’s feet. From Athletic:
“Trout has done a terrible job, man,” Pham said with a hint of laughter. “Trout is the worst commissioner of fantasy sports. Because he let a lot of shit go and he could solve it all.
Pham was somewhat sympathetic to Trout, but at least admitted that he did not want the job in the first place.
“No one wanted to be a commissioner, I didn’t want to be a fucking commissioner. I have another shit. He didn’t want to do it; We put it on her. It was our fault, too, because we commissioned him, “said Pham.
Trout, perhaps unaware of how important this story is, declined Athletic’s request for comment. Fortunately, the farm had some more details to share: the 12-team league buy-in was $ 10,000, the team that finished last had to pay an extra $ 10,000, and Pederson actually “sent some text or jokes to me or Padres in the league group chat.” Pham added that he had “screenshots to prove it.”
The next step is obvious. We will see this screenshot. Fam is certainly welcome to share them with the world, but I’d love it if Pederson resurrects his role in this freak and takes it upon himself to make sure every silly detail in this story is known. Pederson will have to spend some time with reporters, holding the phone, scrolling back through the group text archive before tonight’s game against Phyllis until we see every GIF, meme, and joke we send. I’d like to see one The wolves on Wall Street The meme is somehow about the fact that the farm hit .229 last season. I would like to see Pham try to respond to this with a sarcastic wanker, but the text of the picture just says “fuck you”. I’d like to see Trout share some cool weather information
If we keep this story alive for a long time, I believe we can put an end not only to Trout’s comments, but also to other players in the league. What comes after that? Is the league office hiring Mary Joe White to launch the Fantasy League’s official investigation? One can only hope!